Blog
Articles on relationships, family and wellbeing.
Freezing Out in Relationships
Freezing out (also referred to as stone walling), occurs when there are long term relationship issues,creating contempt and criticism. Freezing out can be a result of ongoing feelings of not being heard, shutdown, talked over and not listened to. All of these feelings cause a person to pull away fro...
Speaking Up in Relationships
What happens to a relationship when one person does not speak up? Firstly, let’s look at the reasons why a partner feels they cannot speak up in their relationship. There are many reasons why someone would avoid not speaking up. The main reasons are avoiding the other person’s reaction. Afraid of be...
Habits that are pushing your partner away
When one partner is in emotional distress and their partner neglects to show empathy it pushes the hurting partner away because they do not feel valued, supported or loved. On the other hand, when one partner is hurting and the other partner offers empathy and compassion, the hurting partner maybe t...
How to connect with your Wife
Tune into your wife’s feelings. A woman needs to feel heard and validated. If she feels dismissed or shutdown, she will pull away in her communication, and emotional and physical connection. Women are emotionally wired so for her it is about how something makes her feel. How your tone of voice makes...
ADHD in Romantic Relationships
Your partner could be undiagnosed ADHD. Many adults are not diagnosed until their children are, when they realise they are similar to their child or they had similar struggles in school. ADHD is developed in childhood and persists as an adult because of life stresses. The partner who does not have A...
How to have conflict without ending your relationship
It is so easy to get caught up in issues and forget about what is really important….. your relationship. Issues are driven by pain, feelings of not being heard, an ongoing unresolved issue. Unresolved issues can lead to criticism, contempt, anger, distance, disconnection, and loneliness. Conflict is...
Emotionally Unavailable
Would you recognise if your partner was emotionally unavailable? These are the signs of a partner who is emotionally unavailable. Your partner does not validate your feelings or if you are generally talking to him on a subject. Your partner is distant, paranoid, inconsistent, and puts their goals, i...
Holding Your Partner in Contempt
What does this look like and how it affects your relationship. Holding your partner in contempt creates a lot of conflict, disrespect and criticism. Contempt causes disconnection in communication, and your physical and emotional connection. It shuts down your partner and destroys their self worth. W...
Shame in Relationships
How does shame affect connection in relationships? Connection is about acceptance and feeling emotionally safe with the other person enough to be vulnerable and to be yourself with that person without fear of rejection. So what does shame do to that connection? Shame says “You’re not good enough.” S...
Emotional Detachment in Relationships
What does this look like? You start off as best friends laughing together, enjoying each other’s company, cuddling and sharing your day with each other. As the years go on, there’s now children and less time to spend together. Slowly the laughing drops off, you no longer have dinner together, or spe...
How do triggers affect relationships and what are triggers?
Triggers are past events we bring into our present. Generally speaking, the root of a trigger can start in our childhood, caused by a parent/s, family member or family friend, from years in school such us bullying from peers or Teachers. Triggers can also come from past abusive relationships based o...
Love & Security
Behaviour from both parties has a lot to do with the relationship flowing, becoming “stuck” or falling apart. What do I mean by this? When both parties feel loved and supported in the relationship, they are confident, happy, and even independent. They feel the confidence to be themselves, career dri...