Blog
Articles on relationships, family and wellbeing.
When The Relationship Feels Heavy, You Don’t Have To Carry It Alone
Most relationships don’t fall apart suddenly. They erode in the small moments. The sharp comments. The distance in the room. The same arguments on repeat. The silence that says more than words ever could. If you’re feeling unheard, unappreciated, disconnected, or exhausted, it doesn’t mean you’ve fa...
The Arguments That Never End
It’s not really about the chores, who washed up last, who forgot to call or even who changed the last dirty nappy! Behind every conflict lies a deeper message. A lost message of needing to feel heard, seen, valued and appreciated. Couples counselling helps to find the deeper meaning behind the confl...
When You’re Tired of Fighting for Love
You don’t mean to be defensive. Underneath the frustration is hurt, the feeling of not being heard, seen or understood. You protect yourself the only way that feels natural to you. You become defensive and then shut down. You pull away from the only person you need love from. Defensiveness isn’t the...
When Love Still Lives in the Distance
There’s a silence that settles between two people long before words stop being spoken. It’s not anger or indifference. It’s the soft ache of what once was. You can feel it as you move around each other. Touch reminds you of what is lost. You still do small things for each other. From the outside […]
The Danger of Attacking Instead of Expressing
It sometimes seems easier to lash out at our partner when we are frustrated, hurt and angry such as “You never help me!! You’re so lazy!! You’re useless!!” Or “I work very hard for this family and you’ve never appreciated anything I do around here! Youre so spoilt!” These words leave deep wounds and...
Why Do Couples Criticise Each Other?
Criticism doesn’t always come from hatred. It comes from hurt. It can sound like “You never…..,” or “You always…..” The unspoken message behind the statement is a message of “I need to know I matter to you.” Or “Do you see me?” The reason we criticise the ones we love is because they matter most […]
When Forgiveness Hurts – Being Pressured To Move On After Betrayal
What do you do when the person who betrayed you is ready to move forward when you are still hurting from their betrayal? They’re ready to move on because they want to put their actions behind them but expecting you to automatically forgive can feel like your pain is being invalidated. This can be mo...
Why We Hurt The Ones We Love
With those we love, we let our guard down. That closeness brings comfort but it can also awaken old fears and triggers. A partner’s innocent comment can awaken old fears we didn’t realise were still there. In that vulnerable space, small misunderstandings can feel like big betrayals and the person w...
Criticism in Relationships
Criticism of your partner is one of the quickest ways of damaging the connection in a relationship. Criticism pulls apart your partner instead of building them up. It looks for your partner’s flaws rather than focusing on your partner’s value. E.g. “You never help around the house! You’re so lazy!!”...
Conflict Styles in Relationships
Every couple will at some stage, and some more regularly than others, have conflict. This is a normal part of being in a relationship. Everyone has needs and this itself can cause conflict. What is important is how each person navigates through conflict. It isn’t about being right. It’s about listen...
Boundaries & Dysfunction in Relationships
When you’re in a dysfunctional relationship, you know something needs to change. You can only change you. You can’t force another person to change if they don’t want to. No amount of arguing will change them if they are not willing to make those changes. This is when we find ourselves stuck in dysfu...
Why Is It Important To Validate Your Partner’s Feelings in Conflict?
Every relationship will have conflict and some more than others. The problem isn’t the conflict in your relationship. It is how you manage conflict that is important. One of the most powerful tools you can use is validation. Validation is the acknowledgement of your partner’s feelings and perception...