Blog
Articles on relationships, family and wellbeing.
How to de-escalate conflict in your relationship
As a Counsellor couples say to me “We want tools to de-escalate conflict before they get out of control.” Here are some tools to de-escalate conflict. 1. When you are feeling defensive, say to your partner: “Can you please say that in a softer way because I’m feeling defensive?” 2. Don’t blame your...
Do you know what it is that makes your partner feel loved?
In relationships, couples often give their partner what they themselves need to feel loved without asking their partner what it is they need to feel loved or they think they know what it is they need to feel loved but they keep missing the mark because what you’re doing for them isn’t exactly what t...
Quality Time In Relationships
Why is quality time important, and what does quality time look like? Relationships thrive on time together alone whether it be watching a fun movie together at home with takeaway while the children are asleep to going out to the movies, a cafe, a restaurant, a walk along the beach, time away for a w...
How well do you listen to each other?
Have you wondered why men generally can put issues behind them and women, generally speaking, seem to hold onto issues? This is because men and women are wired differently. Generally speaking, men are solution-focused and want to “fix” a problem and because of this, they don’t understand why their p...
Should you stay in a relationship because of their potential?
Staying in a relationship because of a person’s potential is a big mistake that many people make. This could be for many reasons. 1. You’re an empath and can reason away you’re partner’s behaviour, after all, they do make you laugh! 2. You don’t know what genuine love feels like and you don’t want t...
Finding The Right Person
It can be very difficult to find the right person. You can spend years alone before you think you’ve found your partner. But sometimes it is better to be alone than to be in a relationship wishing you were alone. If there are red flags, don’t ignore them to avoid being alone again. Many people […]
The potential is a Fantasy
When relationships are new, everything is exciting and you hang off their every word and expressed thought about you. You miss any red flags because you love all the attention. Their flowy words make you feel desired. It may not take long before their true nature begins to rear its ugly head, howeve...
Are you in a toxic relationship?
Do you get told you can’t feel the way you feel? Are you abused for reacting to your partner’s behaviour towards you? Are you blamed for your partner’s abuse? “You made me like this!” I only said that because of what you said to me!” “If you hadn’t said this to me I wouldn’t have […]
Relationship Conflict
How do you measure your behaviour towards your partner? What is your method of measurement? Do you think you are doing well because you don’t hit your partner, cheat or do drugs? Do you throw things at each other, yell and scream, call each other names, speak to each other with contempt and criticis...
Disconnected Relationship
Do you feel a disconnection in your relationship? Has the intimacy disappeared? Are you avoiding conversations to avoid conflict? Are you both snappy with each other? Have you both stopped socialising together? Have you stopped having quality time together? Have you both stopped caring about each ot...
Validating Your Partner’s Feelings
Why is this important in a relationship? When your feelings are not validated by your partner, you don’t feel heard or understood. Sometimes it can feel like you are both on two different planets. When your feelings have been validated, especially in conflict, you know your partner understands and s...
Are you in a relationship with a Narcissist?
Every relationship will have its issues because no one is perfect right? But when you are in a relationship with a Narcissist, it takes “not being perfect” to a whole new level. So what are the signs you might be in a relationship with a Narcissist? When you first started dating they flattered you a...