Shame: How Does It Affect Relationships?

When you’re happy, this shows on the outside as does anger however, shame is internalised and felt as low self-worth and low self-esteem but can present as anger and aggression.

Shame can start right back in childhood or adolescence due to messages we receive about ourselves from our parents, relatives or even kids we went to school with.

So how does this affect our relationship?

Shame can also present as resentment, contempt, controlling, jealousy, blame, inadequacy, addictions, inferiority, unlovable and perfectionism.

These symptoms cause a person to continually self sabotage their relationships by pushing people away with their behaviour before they are pushed away though there was no sign this was inevitable in the relationship.

The very thing a person carrying shame is hungry for is love and acceptance but they push away the people who want to give it to them.