Rules in Relationships

Are you a rule follower?

Do you have the give and take rule in your relationship?

Mary cooked last night so Mary says Trent has to cook tonight!

Trent said to Mary because he vacuumed for her yesterday she has to put the bins out on bin night!

Maybe Mary and Trent have grown up with family rules which they’ve subconsciously brought into their relationship.

When there is a mindset of give and take, you end up with two people keeping score.

You are always thinking about yourselves which drives a wedge between two people.

We all have times in our relationship where we need something from our partner. It might be more affection, it might be to be heard, you might need more romance or to spend more time with your partner.

But the very thing you’re needing from your partner you’re not giving to them.

Your partner has tried to grab your attention but you’ve been engrossed on your phone.

We can be so wrapped up in what we want we forget to give to our partner.

If you want attention, give attention.

If you want respect, give respect.

If you want validation, give validation.

If you want affection, give affection.

Small things in a relationship can make a huge difference.

We can’t wait until we feel like giving to our partner. Don’t wait until you feel like dropping the offence.

Relationships are not about “me.

They’re about “we.”

When you’re giving to your partner make sure it’s not about an expectation to get back.

“I’ll hang up your towel honey!! That’s not a problem!!”

“I’ll make the bed…AGAIN!!”

This will build up resentment in the relationship for both of you and creates stress.