Relationships – To Build Up Or To Pull Down?

This Is The Question.

Have you overheard someone pulling down their partner behind their back?

Did it make you feel uncomfortable?

Have you been or are you in a relationship where you are pulled down and undermined?

The way someone speaks about their partner behind their back is the way they will treat them at home. Narcissism is the exception to the rule here. This is a personality disorder. Narcissists need approval from those they need to impress and will portray themselves as loving and devoted partners and even victims in their relationship.

What does pulling down, name calling, undermining, criticising and ridiculing do to a relationship and to the other person?

To begin with it puts an expiry date on the relationship and tears down a person’s self worth and self esteem. It is done to control the other person to bring them into submission.

The person feels worthless and believes no one else will want them so they remain with their abuser.

What would a relationship look like if two people built each other up?

Instead of discouraging try encouraging.

Instead of calling each other derrogative names, use names like honey, darling or babe.

Instead of running each other down in public or to their face, try supporting each other to others even if you do not agree.

Build each other up in the home. Validate the other person’s feelings.

Putting these positive things into practise in a relationship will make you feel better not only about the other person but also about yourself.

Tearing each other down doesn’t make either person happy and it is very exhausting to live with.

Building each other up strengthens the connection emotionally and physically.