Reignite Your Marriage

Are you a couple who have been married a number of years and you find the spark in your marriage has gone out? Your conversations are about work, kids and marriage issues. But every time you bring up marriage issues you both end up yelling at each other because you’ve stopped listening and instead you say things to hurt each other.

In the early years you were filled with passion for each other but now you have noticed the physical intimacy no longer exists or rarely happens.

You don’t know how you became so distant. You don’t recognise your partner anymore. They’re not the person you married.

You are both unhappy and wonder if the marriage is worth fighting for. Can it be saved?

Physical intimacy is grown out of emotional intimacy. Though some men focus only on the physical aspect of the relationship, the majority of women need the emotional aspect of the relationship.

It is important to focus on each other’s needs and communicate your own needs lovingly.

Both people in the relationship need to communicate their feelings in a positive and respectful way while not being disrespectful towards one another.

One way to build on the emotional intimacy in the relationship is holding hands, cuddling, and gentle touches. All of these let your partner know you are thinking of them, you value them and they are a priority in your life.

Avoid coming on too strong in the bedroom if your partner resists physical intimacy.

Avoid criticizing each other. Build each other up.

Validate the efforts each person makes to improve the relationship.

Build on the romance and spend time getting to know your partner. Listen to their dreams and goals. You may learn something new about them you didn’t know before.

Stop bringing past offences in the relationship. Punishing your partner does not make a strong case for a long-term relationship.

Start flirting with each other again. Be playful and put the fun back in the relationship. Do fun activities together.

Make a point of being kind to each other, always considering the other person’s feelings.

Support each other in and outside the home.

Validate each other every time they do something to help.

Do not be afraid to be vulnerable with each other. This will be a bonding experience.

Don’t be afraid to apologise for hurting your partner during conflict.

Make your relationship a priority. Putting your relationship off has only brought you both pain and conflict. It’s time to change the way you do things and the way you speak and treat each other.

The name-calling, the blame game and attacking has to stop. All of this divides relationships. A relationship divided against itself can not stand.

Start loving each other unconditionally. Practice forgiveness and stop making the relationship performance based.

It isn’t too late to start again.