Offences in Relationships

The question isn’t are offences going to come into your relationship.

The question is what are you going to do when they do come in?

People can say things unintentionally to each other or it may not be what a person says but rather what they don’t do. It’s an unmet expectation.

Unmet expectations is the breeding ground of offences. Worse yet, unexpressed expectations.

Couples have to learn how to communicate with each other.

Let’s say for Julie, in her household birthdays were a big deal. A lot of fuss was made about Julie every birthday. She got breakfast in bed, mum made her pancakes for breakfast with maple syrup and even sung Happy Birthday to her.

But on John’s birthday, no fuss was made. He was lucky if he got a happy Birthday!!

So it’s Julie’s Birthday and John decides he will surprise Julie with Pancakes on the Rocks at lunchtime because he knows pancakes are Julie’s favourite.
But Julie wakes up on the morning of her birthday and nothing!!

No pancakes in bed. Not even so much as a hot cup of coffee or a song!! Julie is feeling let down and unappreciated.

This is Julie & John’s 1st birthday together as a couple and John goes off to work for half a day leaving Julie with an offence.

It wasn’t John’s intention to offend Julie. In his mind, he loves her and knows he has a surprise for her he knows she will love!! But Julie is left feeling unloved and carries the offence with her. John gets home and Julie gives John the silent treatment when he walks in the door.

This offence does get resolved when John takes Julie out for lunch but too often offences don’t get resolved and we carry them with us pushing us away from our partner. Our partner has no idea what they’ve done to cause such a big rift in the relationship.

If you can relate to this and would like support finding your way back to each other don’t hesitate to click on the link below for a booking today.