Narcissistic Abuse in Relationships

Many people in abusive relationships do not know they’re in it because they were raised by one or two controlling, manipulative and or abusive parents so a narcissistic abusive relationship feels familiar and safe.

The victims make excuses for the abuser’s behaviour, reactions, and reasoning.

The victim will even feel sorry for the abuser believing every argument, reaction, shove abusive word and controlling behaviour is their fault.

The abuser may go to work every day, go out to socialise with friends and family, go to the gym, the pub etc while telling or convincing their victim they can’t work for the betterment of the children.

If the victim dares to socialise with family and friends or go to the gym, they’re not only accused of cheating but the abuser will rage and may even hit the victim or throw them around the room or shove them into the wall. The victim has no idea what has just happened to set the abuser off.

Narcissists can be extremely jealous of anything or anyone taking the victim away from them. It can be anything from family, friends, the gym and work, even if the Narcissist isn’t home with the victim.

If the victim dares to stand up to the abuser they can be punished with the withdrawal of finances, car and house keys, and not be allowed to leave the house and also take their mobile phone so the victim can not contact their support system if they still have one by this stage.

Narcissists will gaslight their victim if the victim threatens to report the abuse with statements such as

“It was self-defence!!”

“You’re just trying to make yourself look good!!”

“Everyone will think you’re crazy!! You know that don’t you!!”

“No one will believe you!!”

“If you report me I will take the kids and you will never see them again!! I will tell the Police you scratched me and tried to choke me!! I’ll say it was self-defence!!”

All these statements can scare the victim from reporting the abuse.

Some victims stay in fear of what the abuser will do if they leave.

The problem with this is when there are children involved if the abuse is happening to one parent, it is happening to the children too. Children only need to be present in the home without being physically abused to suffer ongoing trauma from the abuse. They also learn abuse is normal if they are not taken from the abuse.

Children of abuse are more likely to accept abuse and not recognise abuse in their own relationships as adults.

If you can relate to any of this in your own relationship, you are in a narcissistic abusive relationship and you need to gather a support system around you to help you leave with arrangements for somewhere else to stay.

Narcissists do not respect boundaries and will continue to return to the home even if they’re the ones to leave.

If you need support please click on the link below for a booking today.