How To Know If You Are Ready For Marriage?

You are in a relationship with “the love of your life”. You cannot imagine being with anyone else. You talk about your future together and even having children after you finish travelling. You both have good careers and are looking forward to buying a house together one day and even an investment property.

Then your partner asks you to marry them. Even though you talked about all these things it still took you by surprise. You begin to question is marriage really what I want? Why am I now having second thoughts? You find yourself searching for how to know if you are ready for marriage?

What to Consider when Wondering If you are Ready for Marriage

Ask yourself the question is this about “Is this the person for me?” or is it about commitment? These questions need to be discussed with your partner. Are they approachable on the subject? Are you confused when you want children? Maybe you can come to a compromise on how long you are both prepared to wait to get married. Getting engaged does not mean you are going to get married the next day. Maybe your partner might like to wait a year or two before you both walk down the aisle. This is a conversation you both need to have so assumptions are not made.

Make sure you both have the same future goals. What ideas do you have about disciplining and raising children? Do you both want children at all? If only one of you wants children, then what?

Make sure you have known each other long enough, especially if you are around 19yrs old or in your early 20’s. You both have your whole futures ahead of you. Do you both want to buy a house together first or does one want to travel first? Is one a saver and one a spender? Will you have joint accounts in this case, or will you feel more secure with your own Bank accounts? Do you get on with each other’s families and friends? If there is animosity towards one of you from the other person’s family, or from one member of the family, it can impact on the relationship and even divide the couple. It is a good idea to get to know each other’s family to make sure you are a good match.

Maybe your partner drinks socially now but could they become a heavier drinker down the track? Is your partner likely to leave you at home alone in the evenings after work while they are at the pub with mates? Is your partner a gambler? Make sure there are not behaviours you are making excuses for or overlooking to keep the relationship.

Does your partner have a short fuse? Is it often? Can you imagine living with this long term? Does it result in you becoming an emotional punching bag?

Maybe these are questions you have not thought about yet. It is important to ask yourself and your partner these questions, so when you are ready, you can build a strong marriage.

For more help on how to know if you are ready for marriage, you can book a session for couples therapy in preparation for marriage, click here.