How do you know if you’re being gaslit?

What does this look like?

• Do you question why you’re so unhappy? You feel like you’ve lost yourself in the relationship and you’ve lost self confidence and self worth.
• Does your partner make jokes at your expense and says they’re only joking!! What they say sounds serious when said but you’re told it’s only a joke!
• Have you been told “You’re just too sensitive!!” When you tell your partner what they said to you really hurt.
• Do you challenge your partner on their behaviour which is met with denial or outbursts? They deflect, blame you or justify their behaviour towards you? This stops you from challenging hurtful behaviour in the future.
• Are you told you don’t appreciate what they do for you when you challenge their behaviour? Instead of behaviour being addressed, they only talk about the things they do for you or buy you as if this excuses their treatment of you.
• Do you try to tell them something that is important to you, (maybe something that happened during your day) and you’re met with “I’m not interested” as they walk away. But they expect you to listen about their day or what interests them.
• Are you told a particular event didn’t happen when you know it did? You try to address a time when they undermined you in front of friends and you are met with denial.
• Are you showered with gifts or taken out to dinner between fights? (This makes you feel less likely to raise issues because you think things are not as bad as you thought.)
• Is your partner jealous of your time with the children or your pets? (They often complain about you spending time out with the kids or time on your pets.)
• Are you feeling lonely in the relationship because their behaviour pushes you away? By now you know you can’t share about your day and you’ve learnt to shut down.
• Are you often told there’s something wrong with you? When you try to explain your perspective you’re met with e.g. “You know you’re depressed”, or “You know you have a bad memory, everyone knows it!!”

You need to know you do deserve better. You deserve to be treated with love and respect.

If this is you and you would like support in this area please click on the link below.