How do you build a strong marriage?

In the beginning.

When you begin dating it’s exciting. Everything is new. You start out asking questions about each others life, their likes, their favourite foods, drinks, what they like to do to relax, about their family and down the track whether they want children etc.

You talk for hours on the phone, message each other during the day and send each other messages first thing in the morning, during the day and last thing at night.

The honeymoon is over.

12mths has passed.
You begin to take each other for granted. You stop waiting on each other.

The things you found cute about each other are now annoying.

Going out drinking socially has turned into leaving her at home so you can go out and drink with your mates because she just wants to spend time with you at home because you both work fulltime.

You use to find her shyness adorable but now you find it frustrating because she won’t communicate with you.

He would leave his jumper on the dining room chair when you dated but now he’s leaving his wet towel and dirty clothes on the bedroom floor too.

When you were dating she cleaned up the kitchen after you cooked but now she complains you don’t clean up after yourself in the home.

Back to basics

So how do you turn all of this around?

You begin with putting the other person first.

Find out what each of you need from the relationship. This involves clear communication.

Go back to date nights to a romantic setting and sending each other those love messages.

Validate each others efforts in the home and in the relationship. Build each other up.

Stop criticising each other and instead work on encouraging and building each other up.

Remember why you were attracted to each other in the beginning and focus on those things.