How Do I Convince My Partner To Join Me In Couples Counselling?

If you’ve been thinking you both need couples counselling because your relationship feels stale, stuck, you don’t feel connected anymore, there’s ongoing conflict and now you’re walking on egg shells, you are both doing activities independently and not making time for each other, sleeping in separate bedrooms or spending all your energy on the kids, then you do need professional help to repair the relationship.

Maybe you’ve realised what you both have been trying hasn’t worked so you need tools to help you navigate through the relationship.

So how do you convince your partner to go along to therapy with you?

Focus on putting more time in the relationship. Validate your partner’s feelings. Recognise when they’re struggling and or frustrated rather than taking it personally, (this does not include abuse.)

Be vulnerable with your partner at a time they’re not busy and definitely not immediately when they’ve walked in the door after a busy day at work.

Explain to your partner when they’re relaxed that you feel you’re both struggling in the relationship and you would like to feel closer to them.

Suggest couples counselling for both of you.

You may be met with resistance for the following reasons:

• Cost.
• Telling a stranger your relationship flaws.
• This means there’s something wrong with them. (A fallacy).
• Why should they pay a stranger to listen to them.
• They don’t have the time.

Ask your partner what they’re needing in the relationship. If they begin to point the finger at you, suggest they join you in couples counselling to help you to understand how to meet their needs better.

Don’t make it sound like they need “fixing”.

Don’t nag them into it. You will be met with resistance.

You can explain couples counselling is an investment into the relationship that can last a life time.

What you’ve both been trying hasn’t worked so far so you think it’s time to get support.